TITS (Things I Think Saturday)

I have a little spare time this morning so I figured I'd pass on some stuff I've been thinking about lately.

Older Women - Older women are far sexier than young women. I have always thought so. When I was in my early twenties, I dated women in their thirties whenever I could. I would have dated even older women but most that I approached thought I had some kind of mommy syndrome and wouldn't have me. Either that or they felt like a perv for being attracted to me and wouldn't have me out of guilt. When I was in my early thirties, I met up with a woman in her late fifties. She was so incredible. Her body was beautiful in every sense. She was short and had spectacular breasts. She had plenty of signs of age but her sexuality was far superior to any woman I had met before in my life. Best of all was she had this thing for hitting bars and picking up younger men. She would buy them drinks, get them good and drunk and then lure them home to her place and then give them the best hand job of their life. Her hand jobs were like a work of art. She knew just how to get a man to his boiling point and keep him there as long as she wanted before enjoying the most incredible orgasm of his life. I know because after watching her lure a few younger guys from the bar, I made it a point to get myself on her list of younger men she'd had. The only difference between me and the other men is, I came back for more. Many times. I wasn't ashamed of what I'd done. I was fine with her age and I wanted more and more of her incredible pleasure. In fact, I begged her on occasion to let me take her home. I am pretty sure I am the only one she went further than a hand job with and allowed into her bed to pleasure her. Most of the men she lured to her place were given a hand job and then shown the way out. Anyway, this blog called Handjob Blog By Molly reminds me of that woman. Probably because the woman I know used baby oil just like Molly, was older and like Molly, truly loved doing it.

Eventually, after much pleading on my part we made love. it took a lot of meetings and a lot of convincing before she'd let me atse her fruit. She noticed my submissive nature and delighted in taking full control. She liked sex very, very slow and she taught me how to make love to her the way she wanted. Very little movement on my part. She would climb on top and just enjoy the feeling of my cock throbbing inside of her while she played with her clit and I attended to her beautiful breasts. Since she was so short, her pussy was incredibly tight. I'm sure to her, my cock was enormous. She pinched at my nipples and finger fucked my ass without me asking or eluding to the fact that I wanted her to. She had no problem in scolding me if I was not doing what she told me to do. Staying still while she controlled the level of penetration was something I had a hard time with and on several occasions she gave me a good slap on the chest and demanded I stop trying to thrust in and out. "Just stay fucking still like I told you to" she scolded with her dreamy british accent.

I think we would have been a great couple if not for the age difference. We both knew the age difference was too much though and as soon as a new girlfriend came along for me, I ended our get togethers.

So what was it all those years about older women I liked so much? I'll tell you what it was (and still is). I like women that know more (or at least as much) than me about sex. I like to learn from my partners instead of being the one who knows the most. I also like a woman whose been there, done that. She knows just what she wants and isn't afraid to demand it. All my life, older woman have been the ticket for that.

Friday Flicks

Nice clip of a woman (speaking a foreign language) giving her boy a good work over. There's a little of everything in this including spanking, oral and eventually strap on.













Short but good clip of BBW facesitting. I love how she rides his face.

This one could use to learn her knots but she's got the right idea. Tie that cock up and tug on it! Yum!

Loaned Slut

I’m going to mix things up a bit this week. I will have some links to video clips later today however instead of doing Thinks I Think Thursday (TITT), I’m posting a little fantasy I hacked out this week. I have a lot of fantasies I know will never come true and even more I know I would never carry out even if I had the opportunity. I’m not sure where this fantasy fits. Maybe I WOULD follow through with it if I had the chance. All I know is it is a fantasy I like and worrying about whether or not it’s OK to fantasize about things ruins the fantasy itself. So here it is.
Please comment to let me know if you like this sort of thing or not.

“I want you to pay a visit to a friend” she said on the phone. “It’s a female friend. You’ve never met her. You’ll be obeying her and pleasing her for me.” I thought she was joking at first but she cleared that up quickly. “I think you’re ready. I’ve trained you well enough. She knows you’re a slut and she knows you’re on loan. Just do whatever she tells you to. She knows you’ll be reporting back to me and she knows what your boundaries are. So do whatever she says. When she’s through with you I want you to call me.” She gave me the address and the name of the woman I was to visit. Her name was Cindy. When I asked her to tell me a little more about her she refused. I asked her to tell me something about her desires but she snapped back at me, “All you need to know is you’ve been told where to show up and who to obey. Now get your slutty ass over there and make sure you don’t fuck this up or I’ll beat you like a rented mule.” Then she abruptly ended the call by hanging up.

As I absorbed the conversation that just took place, my mind raced with thoughts of what this Cindy person might look like, what her kinks might be. I contemplated why my Domme would want to loan me out to another woman. What this meant to our relationship. Was she trying to get rid of me? Was this a step forward in our relationship? Maybe it was a test to see if I’d go through with it. Would my Domme want me to chicken out? Maybe she wants me to disobey out of loyalty to her. Maybe she wants to see if I would find it impossible to obey another.

When I arrived at the house, it was just getting dark out so I couldn’t make out much detail but it was a three story apartment like all the other houses on her street. It wasn’t a nice part of town. I was a little nervous about leaving my car parked on the street. I rang the bell for what I assumed was the basement apartment. I hoped I was ringing the right bell. The door opened within seconds as if the person answering had been standing there waiting. An older woman, probably fifty, maybe fifty five glared out at me. She was a larger woman with curly, black hair peppered with grey. Her face was wrinkled and rough as though she had weathered many years of labor or hard times. She was kind of greasy looking and rough around the edges. “I’m sorry” I said nervously. “I’m looking for Cindy. She lives in the basement apartment.” “I know.” she replied. “Follow me.” As I followed her to the stairs leading down into the basement, I felt a little nervous knowing another person was in on this. I couldn’t ask her how much she knew or anything though. I didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that this visit was anything more than a casual social thing.

As I followed her down the hallway stairs into the dark apartment, I scanned the place to get an idea just what I was getting myself into. The only light in the room was coming from another room twenty feet or so away. There were no windows that I could see. The room was cluttered and messy. She closed the door behind me and latched the bolt. “I wonder where the hell this lady is going to be when things get going” I thought to myself. “I sure as hell hope she isn’t going to be in the next room or something.” She turned and faced me. “Take your clothes off.” She demanded. “Fold them neatly and put them in a pile in the corner over there” she said while pointing to a dark corner of the room. “What?” I said as I took a step back. She paused for a second before her reply. “Michelle said you’d do whatever I told you to. Is there a problem?” “Oh!” I gasped realizing she was the woman I was there to see. “I said to take your clothes off. Do I have to tell Michelle you didn’t do what I told you to?” she asked in an agitated tone.

In shock I began to unbutton my shirt. This was not what I expected at all. This woman was so much older and well, I hadn’t even sized her up for possible attractive features as I had assumed she was Cindy’s mother or aunt or something. She was definitely heavy, probably 250 pounds or so. That wasn’t so much of a problem because I like heavy women but she just didn’t seem very attractive. As I undressed I began studying her body more. Her breasts seemed large. It was hard to tell because she was wearing a sweat suit. It was a grubby sweat suit. Not your yuppy jogger type mind you. It was definitely the Walmart shopper type. Not what one would expect a woman to wear in a situation where a sexual encounter was to potentially take place. She had gone to no effort at all to be attractive or feminine for me. She must not have cared much what I thought of her appearance. I wondered if she had even bothered to shower that day. I was trying to think of a way I could get out of this. I didn’t feel good about what was about to happen. None the less, my shirt was now off and I was in the process of flipping my shoes off. Before long, my pants were coming off. All the while, she stared and studied my body. It was kind of creepy the way she watched me as I took the clothes off. She had a look on her face like she was sizing up some livestock she was considering for purchase or something. I began to wonder if maybe she paid Michelle for my services. I felt so dirty undressing before this total stranger who was sizing me up like some sort of hardware item on sale at Walmart. I tried to think of ways I could maybe get out of this without angering Michelle.

I folded my pants and brought them to the corner. As I bent down to place them neatly on the floor like, I heard her give a little approving “Mmmmm” sound. It was clear to me she was admiring my ass. I usually like having my ass admired but in this case, I felt sort of violated. I felt dirty for even letting her see it. I still had the rest of my clothes to fold and place in the corner. She was going to be looking me over the whole time. It was kind of creepy. When the clothes were put away in the corner she told me to stand before her again. I felt embarrassed standing there naked for her inspection. Looking down at my cock she said, “Good thing you are good with your mouth. Turn around.” I was so pissed off but i did as she said. How dare this bitch judge my cock? i know it's not big but she's lucky I'm even here. “Nice ass” she said as she slapped it hard with her hand. Then she rubbed and squeezed it. In an instant her hand was deep between the crack of my ass violating me as she murmured, “It is a very nice ass. I’m going to do such naughty things to it.” I arched upward as if I were being "goosed" as her hand moved around. It was humiliating to have ot sit there and let her shove her hands wherever the hell she wanted. I didn't dare say a word though because I knew she'd be telling Michelle everything later.

“Did Michelle tell you what I have planned for you?” she asked as she began to remove her slippers and shirt. “No. She just told me to do whatever you want and told me that’s all I need to know” I said as I watched her undress. Her breasts were large and they rested comfortably on her belly which was pretty big but clean. I mention clean because at this point, I wasn’t hoping for sexy features. I was just hoping not to see any strange marks or growths or anything. I couldn’t believe I was in this position. Eyeing somebody I’m about to have sex with for growths. What have I stooped to? “For starters, you’re going to wash with me. We’ll wash each other. I want to be sure you’re clean.” She said as she threw her shirt to the floor where it landed on the pile of other dirty clothes left all about the place. I was totally insulted by the fact that she had the gall to be worried about my cleanliness but at the same time, fairly relieved that she put so much emphasis on cleanlinessin general. Hopefully she cared for her body better than her apartment. I began to worry about what her crotch might smell like.

When she was through watching me shower and ordering me around as to how to scrub and what to scrub, she joined me and instructed me where to clean her. As I became more comfortable with her body, I began to admire certain aspects of it. Her breasts were larger than any I had seen in quite some time and her ass was very large and deliciously round. I envisioned her tying me up and making me worship it while she stroked my cock. In fact, the desire to get on my knees and begin kissing it began to gow withinme. Sure enough, as my mind drifted, my cock began to grow. I leaned into her as i washed her shoulders so she would feel it rub against her. I’m sure she noticed but she didn’t say anything. In fact, we didn’t speak again until we were dried off and entering the bedroom.

“So here’s the deal” she said as she made her way to sit on the edge of the bed. “I know you’re good with your mouth. I know you’re a total slut. I want your slutty mouth to go everywhere and do everything I tell you to on my body. I also want to play with your body doing whatever I want. That definitely includes your ass which I happen to find kind of cute. I think I’d like to do unspeakable things to it. I doubt I'll have much use for that little cock. I intend to use you for the entire evening and I intend to be sexually exhausted by the time you leave. It’s been years since I’ve had sex so you can expect to get the full wrath of my frustration. You’ll also be getting plenty of punishment just for the fact that Michelle says you can take it. I get wet seeing a man wincing in pain. So you’ll be suffering and I’ll be getting pleasured. This is your last chance to get out of it. I know if I report back to Michelle that I wasn’t happy with what I got here today, she’ll punish you far worse that I will. So you have your options. Are you ready to get to work bitch?”

With a simple, somewhat reluctant nod, I became her whore. The process of pleasing my client was about to became my top priority. As her hands moved on my body and she forced her tongue down my throat, I submitted myself to whatever filthy desires she had in store. “I really am a whore” I thought to myself as my body became her play thing. “I am a whore at work here. I have been whored out and I am now at work. This isn’t for me in any sense. This is all about performing for this woman doing whatever it takes to please her as my sexual client. I’m such a filthy slut.” I also realized at that point that my cock was hard as a rock and my breathing was getting heavier by the second. I was moaning louder and louder as she violated my body. I knew at that point, I was about to do things I would be thoroughly embarrassed about later. I was about to dive deep into the world of a filthy, slutty whore. And I liked it!

Friday Flicks

ARRRRGH!!!
This has happend so many times! This fuckin cheap ass blog tool lost the link I added to the image. This time I can't find it again to add it back. I waste so much fucking time dealing with the retardedness of this blog tool. I am going to start looking for a better option. I've had it with this crap!

It was an awesome clip too. It features a man pleasuring his BBW partner. He is on a collar and leash the whole time. He fucks her to orgasm in the beginning. After that he eats her and she pisses in his face while he is eating her. It ends with him shooting his cum on her boots. For good measure she gives him a kick to the balls and makes him lick up his spunky mess. I can't beleive it's lost thanks to this crappy html editor from eblog. I mean, look at those thighs and boots! I can't beleive I've lost the link to this!

I hope we see more femdom videos from this couple in the future. If I can manage to find it again I will definitely repost it.

Strapon

Once she's in and starts moving in and out she says, "I said we were going to take it nice and slow. We're not. We're going to fuck you good and proper like the whore you are." I wonder just what he was thinking at that point knowing he is tied down and can't do shit to stop it.

Later at about the 8:35 mark he starts babbling on thanking her for fucking him etc. She yells at him, "Shut the fuck up and ride the cock bitch!" and pounds his ass even harder and faster. I almost messed my pants at that point.

Very hot scene.

TITT Only It's Saturday

Another week gone by and what do I have to write about? Well, as usual, my slutty little mind has been busy pondering all sorts of deliciously filthy things. I'm very busy this week and less submissive than usual but slutty enough to have a few TITT entries.

On the subject of clothing - I've mentioned before that I find the porno costume femdom women wear to be rather silly. Don’t get me wrong. I love the smell and feel of leather but I just see those femdom outfits women wear in online porn to be a little over the top. I prefer a woman wear an oversized button down shirt. Black or white are nice because they can be somewhat see through. The idea though is that she is comfortable and warm yet everything she wants me to have access to is right there. A couple of buttons and she can allow me at her breasts. If she wants to tease, she can just unbutton enough to let me see plenty of cleavage and make me earn the privilege of worshiping those beautiful breasts. And then of course, her ass and pussy are available for me to bury my face in without the need for her to remove anything at all. Why should she have to strip down and be cold or dress herself all up in leather to impress me? I’m the bitch. Make me sit there naked and exposed or dress me up in some silly bondage outfit.

When it comes to leather, I don’t need the bras or whatever to get me in the mood to submit. Leather boots would be nice but not necessary. The good thing about leather boots is they can be quite effective at teasing the cock and balls into a very horny state with a little contact. Then it can be ended so cruelly with a little kick to the balls. I made love once to a vanilla woman who was wearing leather boots. The sensation of them rubbing against my sides was very erotic. When she raised her legs up high and the boots were right next to my face, I found the smell of the leather to be intoxicating and before long, I was sniffing and kissing her boots as we fucked.

Power Business Suits - This may sound odd but, if I DID need clothes to make me feel the woman’s dominance, a business suit would have a much greater effect on me than leather or vinyl or any of the other fetish wear. There is nothing that relays the image of power more than the look of a successful, confident business woman. A woman in a position of power is very hot. Being her “cum along” for business trips would be fun. Giving her oral under the desk at work. Naughty employee spankings. Ahh yes. The boss/slut fantasy is a classic for a reason.

What about women in uniform? Female cops? Female prison guards? Military women? Sure. I’d get pretty hot if I was married to a female cop and she came home in uniform and cuffed me, took her frustration from the day out on my ass before putting me to work as her oral slave or fucking my ass with her night stick. I have to admit though, I rarely think about that one. Maybe because it is just so far fetched. Woman cops for some reason are rarely Domme. They’re usually more into being dominated preferably by guy cops. That is except for the lesbian cops. That’s another story altogether but one which doesn’t stand a chance in hell of involving me.

Mens Clothing - Last but not least, a woman in men’s clothing can also be very dominating in appearance and very sexy. Not because she looks like a guy but because she looks tough. Have any of you men out there ever met a woman that could kick your ass? Did the thought of having sex with her cross your mind? What about the thought of her raping and hurting you? Did you get wood? I did. I LIKE tough woman. I have NO problem having a woman in jeans and a flannel shirt rough me up. Fuck me rough and hurt the shit out of me. Slap me while she fucks me. Knee me in the balls. Kick my ass and fuck it too. Make me whimper at your feet. Leave some bruises. I WILL come back for more even if I have to crawl and beg.

It’s not a homosexual or bi thing. It’s just very sexy when a woman can truly overpower you. They’re out there too. Trust me. I fantasize all the time about submitting against my will with a woman that is stronger and tougher than me. I think about scenes in which she bitch slaps me and I submit in fear knowing if she decided to move to punches, I would get my ass beat. Yes, that would be the scenario in which I REALLY was her bitch. I think that would be the ultimate in being dominated.

Foot Massages – As I said last week, I intended to improve my skills in massage. I spent a good deal of time this week finding online tutorials, specifically video tutorials. This week I will focus on feet. I am pretty good already with the feet but I’d love to become better. Next week, I’ll move on to legs. After that, the big challenge is the back. I really need help there. That’s the one area of massage I am just “OK” at if not poor. I’ll share the tutorial links with you all once I get them sorted and graded.

Cummings and Goings - Despite the long winded opinions above, I have actually been fairly UN-submissive this week. I’m not sure why but the horny submissive mindset has eluded me all week. That has been a positive for my vanilla marriage. So has the fact that I am exploring massage techniques. GAWD she has no idea how lucky she has it. I pamper her like a queen just because I enjoy providing pleasure so much and have no other outlet. I give her mind blowing orgasms regularly too. If only she was wired to demand it and enjoy my submission rather than just benefit from it begrudgingly. It’s like she has treasures that she doesn’t want. What she really wants is a traditional cowboy to sweep her off her feet and dominate her. She accepts these things from me but they don't excite her the same way they would a dominant woman. I don't blame her though. I know she can't help how she is wired. It just is what it is.

Anyway, when I am not feeling submissive, I tend to enjoy teasing her and dominating her somewhat. It makes for a VERY horny her. So sex has been good in terms of her being soaking wet having powerful orgasms. I am enjoying it but I know it’s only a matter of time before my submissive side rears its ugly head again and I become not so much of a cowboy. That’s when things will get cold and awkward again. Like the next time I tell her I want her to make me eat my cum. She almost pukes at the idea of getting my cum on the sheets. Watching me eagerly eat it would, well, it would solicit that same old cringed expression it always does. “Oh Gross. No. You don’t want to do that. Seriously, that’s just gross.”

"So I guess you deep throating and swallowing my load is out of the question huh?"

Never Satisfied

Looking over a few blogs this morning, I get the impression everyone wants something they don’t have. Nobody is writing much about how wonderful everything is or how great their lovers are. They are all writing about what they want next. I wonder if this is because people’s blogs are their outlet to express their fantasies or because sexual desires are never satisfied. Is sex like drugs? Are these people addicted? Is the high they currently get from sex only good enough for a while and then they want a new high? What about me?

I wonder if that would ever happen to me if I was dominated 24/7? Would the fascination with being an owned slut wear off and then I would need more? What would more BE? Would I need multiple partners? Or would BDSM go to bizarre levels? Would things I currently view as sick and perverted become fantasies when the current fantasies grew old?

What about my owner? Even if my own desires weren’t in need of expansion, what about hers? Would I one day be told she was going to whore me out or she planned to cuckold me? I never used to think about these things. I don’t know why I do now.

I do know one thing, the more I ponder it all, the less fun sex seems to be. Too complicated.

Sheesh. Here I am not even getting any sex and I’m worried sick about what turns it might take were I to start getting it regularly. Talk about over thinking shit. I really need to get some soon.

Friday Flicks

This is how I (and every slut out there) wants desperately to be used. Cock on a leash getting tugged on while she rides the dildo attached to his chin. Add some creampie to drip down that dildo and it would be pure bliss.








Mmmmmmmmmm!!! This creampie compilation is delicious. I can almost hear her saying, "NOW GET DOWN THERE BITCH AND CLEAN UP YOUR SLUTTY MESS! EVERY LAST FUCKING DROP!"











WOW! I can't believe he's able to take that monster strapon to begin with but she is drilling his ass! I'm amazed. Scary thing is, I know someday I will be taking it like he is.














Meow is simply spectacular. Interestingly, when I look at her pictures or watch her videos, although I find her breasts spectacular, I find myself wishing I was below her crotch looking up at them. I don't know why but I want to worship her ass more than her breasts. I think she has an incredible body to go with those breasts (as well as a beautiful face). Check out her blog. She has a stunning set of strapon images she posted with me as her inspiration!

X-Mas Wish List

Friday Flicks Still To Come. I have some good ones this week!

What needy slut wouldn't start his X-Mas wish list in early November? I know none of this will come true but here are a few things I can dream of getting for X-Mas this year (in no particular order other than things that provide her pleasure first).

Toys for Me to Use to Please Her:

Chin Strap Vibrating Dildo
Foot Massage/Pedicure Kit
Massage Technique Video or Book
Clit Warming Gel
Exercise Bench to Restrain Me On/Over
Rabbit Dildo
Two Way Dildo
Video Camera?

Toys for Her to Use on Me:

Custom Paddle to Leave Spanking Symbol of Her Choosing
Leather Ball Spreader/Cock Leash
Anal Invader With Cock Cage
Breathable Gag
Leg Spreader Bar
Butt Plug
Leather Belt
Cock Cage
Tied and True Lacing Cock and Ball Harness

Actions

Slow sensuous strapon fuck
Deep Throat Blowjob
Good Ole Fashioned Ass Beating
Dinner and Drinks
Mark Me However She Chooses
Extended Face Sitting/Creampie Eating
Ass/Pussy Worship
Foot Worship

TITT

Urges

Sometimes the urge to be dominated becomes so strong within me it is a destructive force in my life. It is a distraction that sometimes has a huge effect on my daily life. Surely if I had a real life outlet for it, things would be better. This week I have been desperately craving the following:

• Nice big round booty planted squarely on my face.
• Good dose of painful punishment. Like leave me with some bruises and marks, make me beg for it to end kind of punishment.
• Some serious servitude. House cleaning, cooking, pedicure, you name it. I really feel the urge to please this week.
• Restraint. There are so many forms of restraint I’ve never tried that I want to. This week, those desires have been haunting me.
• Strapon. I really need a good over the barrel, serious, fuck you bitch kind of ass pounding.
  

The fact that I need these things so badly but have no outlet for them has me acting poorly. The frustration takes its toll. I wish I had a woman in my life that enjoyed these things and enjoyed the fact that I am in such dire need of them right now. Sure, I know she would take advantage of my desperation and tease the shit out of me. She’d make me beg like a puppy for it. But at least with a real life woman standing right there making me beg for it, there would be hope of actually getting it.

Of course, I can masturbate in hopes of quelling the urge. It will help a little but in the end, it is like wanting beer and getting the non-alcohol brand or generic cola or something. Sometimes, nothing will do but the real thing.
There’s always pro-dommes. I went to see one of them about twenty years ago. It’s a cheap thrill but it’s not right for me. There’s something about paying people hard cash in order to get them to cross the street to spit on you. Doesn’t work for me.


Restraints

An email conversation I had with someone earlier in the week brought up the idea of restraining a man to the floor via an eye bolt and his collar. I don’t know why after all these years, I haven’t seen that done and haven’t thought of it myself. Anyway, I know most people can’t just lay down an eye bolt in the middle of a room. So how can this be achieved say in a hotel room or in the home without drilling through the floor? I have some ideas which I plan to play a bit and see how effective they are when I have time Friday. First thought is to loop a leash around something heavy that would still keep the subs head low to the ground where it belongs and his ass exposed and defenseless. Maybe the toilet? It’s heavy, can’t be moved and has a wider top than bottom so the rope would keep its place nice and low. Plus, he’d be such a dirty boy with his head next to a commode and his ass in such a vulnerable position. Second thought is to see if furniture can be used somehow to achieve this restraint. More thoughts on this as I have time.


Branding

I can’t be branded in too obvious of a way however I would LOVE to be. I’d love to have a mark somewhere on my body that she and I both knew meant I was owned by her. There must be some subtle way to brand that would work.




Shaving

I am long over due for a shave down there. My hair is completely grown back from the last time. It has to go. I want to be smooth so ropes and rings can be applied with no hair tugging. I can’t wait to feel the smoothness. It turns me on to run my hands across my genital area and instead of feeling bushy hair, feeling smooth clean skin.

Feedback

I'm kind of surprised nobody commented on ways I can improve my value to a Domme.

Am I THAT good? I doubt it!

I had a thought of my own. Every good submissive should be very well skilled in the art of pedicure. It should be a submissive's place to be on his knees serving his Dommes feet. That should include more than just toe sucking and foot licking. If he is to be of true value for his Domme, he should be able to spoil her in non sexual ways as well. Don't get me wrong, every sub loves worshiping his Dommes feet and most Dommes love watching them do it. Like they say on the Red Green show, "if women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." A submissive has to have some skills to offer for times when she just needs his servitude in non-sexual ways.

I will post links as I find them for online How To videos on pedicure. Here's one for exfoliating the feet. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E_58zk6_cI

This blog by Lady MorningStar has step by step instructions http://ladymorningstarblog.com/

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Predddy Scarrddddy huh?

.

My Values & Weaknesses

I was so lazy yesterday. Jerking off twice in the day sure didn’t help get me moving on chores. It didn’t help the diet either. I haven’t hit the scale yet this morning but being lethargic isn’t on the diet plan. Luckily I didn’t eat that bad so if I’m lucky I maintained instead of gained. I sure wish I had someone to beat my ass in these situations. There’s no way I should be allowed to have setbacks like this without consequences.

Thinking about a post earlier in which I mentioned an article I read for subs looking to find a Domme. The author had some good points about subs listing their value to potential Dommes. They usually go on and on about what they like sexually, what they will do etc. but they rarely mention their value in day to day life. I vowed to make a list of my pros and cons, values and skills in order to evaluate my worth to a Domme.

Pros

• I do housework very well. I’ve been skilled in laundry for years and do it now in my vanilla marriage. It’s my chore alone. I also do dishes, cleaning etc. I enjoy doing housework.
  
• I cook. I’m no expert chef but I do enough recipes very well to get through a week and I’m always looking to learn new things in the kitchen. I can be a great short order cook. I like the action of keeping it all moving quickly. I also enjoy making a large meal. Lately I’ve been experimenting with my recipes to bring the calorie count down without sacrificing the taste.
  
• I do massage. I have studied the subject a bit but I need to take a class. I think my foot rubbing skills are very good but my back rubbing skills need work. I’d also love to learn more about leg massage.
  
• I am good at thorough cleaning. For some reason, when I clean a room, I can’t stop at just dusting and vacuuming. I’ll see this or that and get after it. Next thing I know, I’m painting the room and shampooing the carpets. It may sound obsessive but I find once a room is cleaned thoroughly like that, it is easier to keep clean. I hate passing over dirt.
  
• I paint fairly well. Boy, do I HATE to paint. I do it well though so I find myself being put to work on it quite often.
  
• I know a few things about gardening and do it fairly well.
  
• I live to provide oral pleasure.
  
• I can be funny as hell. That’s what those closest to me think. I love humor and once I find what makes you laugh most, I can tickle your funny bone just about anytime.
  
• I'm good at video and photography. I did video semi-pro for a while.

Cons

• I have to be put in my place continuously. I compare myself a lot to a Rottweiler. Having owned one once, I know they crave to have one person in their life that is dominant over them however, they are continuously testing that dominance to see if the chain of command is still in place. Dog training classes for the Rottweiler is not a one and done affair. They must be repeated for the life of the dog to keep them in check. They also submit to no other. They have one owner and the rest of the world is to be dominated. This may or not be a con however I would think it is annoying to have to constantly be putting a sub in his place.


• I’m not rich and lack the drive to ever be.
  
• I am not good about celebrating birthdays, anniversaries etc.
  
• I have no carpentry or mechanical skills. I can’t build a desk or do the brakes on a car.

So what skills do you all think I can add to my list? Please comment.

Friday Flicks

Watch as she uses clothesline rope to tie an aexceleent ball spread/cock leash on her slave before leading him to the flogging table to give him what he deserves. I love how she is able to use the leash to keep his hind end tied down. He isn't going anywhere during his flogging.

I'm not usually a big fan of lesbian clips. I guess that's because it's not even possible to imagine it involving me. Anyway, this is your classic cheesy Vegas style porn but both women are really hot. I just wish I was on that bed with these two using me as their slave as they enjoyed eachother. Maybe one could sit on my face while the other rode my cock. There must be a place for me in there somewhere.

TITT (A Day Late) (So Spank me!)

Do me – Dommes must get so sick of the comments left on their blogs from guys. They’re never much more than suggestions to allow them to be next or how much they would like to be able to serve the woman etc. It must be annoying to get responses of such little value.

BBW Gets It Good – Ugh. Trying to find quality porn clips involving BBW woman of the dominant nature is so frustrating. The porn industry is so demeaning to BBW women. I have to wade through so many clips where the woman is treated, well, the way I want a woman to treat me. LOL seriously though, I’ve said it before, I wish more BBW woman produced porn. I know in my heart there are more dominant BBW woman out there than the porn industry reflects.

Rejection Sucks – I see so many femdom advice columns suggesting rejection as a form of punishment. For me, rejection is an area that shouldn’t be explored. I am such a douchebag when the emotions of rejection overcome me. I can’t see anything positive coming from rejection as a form of punishment. I could go on for a long time as to how rejection affects me. I think the most damaging is, the fear it will happen again and the insecurity that creates. You can take a lot of things away from me but don’t take away the affection. That’s going too far. I think its bad advice.

Bigger Breasts Without Implants - This article about a new cosmetic surgery that allows women to take fat from one part of their body and have it injected into their breasts is very interesting. Talk about win-win. I can’t imagine anyone not liking that. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33494347/ns/health-skin_and_beauty/

Diet Update

Just a quick update on the diet. I've been eating fairly well this week. Staying within my cals/fat goals. Carbs have been off the charts though. Hopefully, the increase in exercise will counter the carbs. I'm walking a lot (3-5 miles) now every day. Weight is coming off.

All this without the help of a Domme. I can only imagine how much better I'd be doing WITH the help of a Domme.

Just Thinking (again)

I just finished reading an essay on punishments. The essay focuses on paddling, spanking etc. and the theory that submissive folks will misbehave on purpose in order to get these punishments they love so much. The essay goes on to list alternative punishment methods.

This is an age old argument. I have to say, having been punished by my Domme as opposed to playfully being spanked I think it is quite plausible for the spanking or other pain to be used for punishment so long as the Domme knows her subs boundary levels well. I know all to well the difference between, “Oh that hurts. I like that.” And “That hurts too much. Please stop. When will this end? I’m sorry!”

With playful pain, there is verbal taunts such as, “You like it when I beat your slutty ass don’t you?” or “You look so delicious when you’re wincing in pain. Those cheeks look so sweet when they’re rosy red”. During a punishment the taunts change to scolding about the infraction. Taunts change to “You’re know what you did and you know you deserve this.” Or “Don’t you beg me to stop! You’re going to take every bit of this punishment and thank me for it.” “You’re going to get a lesson you’ll NEVER forget!” The two are totally different. One is pleasurable although it hurts and the other is not. Sure a sub may enjoy being hurt and chastised but if done right, he will be brought slightly past his boundaries of pain tolerance. He will be far enough that he STOPS liking it and starts fearing it and wanting it to end. That followed up with verbal acknowledgement of what he did and some other things such as extra cleaning duties or some humiliating chore should make him fear disappointing her again.

Surely pain is not the be all, end all for bad behavior. If it were, nobody would ever act up after the first punishment. With kids, psychologists say spankings don’t work. If they did, they’d never get in trouble again. To some degree they are right with most kids. However, I think with submissive adults, spankings do work. Just the humiliation of submitting to a spanking is punishment in itself for most adults. The ritual of being bound over an object or voluntarily assuming the position and her scolding you for what you have done etc. is humiliating and brings the bad behavior to her control. She now decides the consequences for the bad behavior. If the consequences are not severe enough to prevent it in the future, she needs to go a little harder the next time.

All subs are different however most subs can be brought to the point where they are considering using their safe word. This is a point they do not enjoy and they will not look to repeat any time soon. Yes eventually the memory will fade and they will deserve to be brought to that point again. That will never change. However, I don’t believe they will think, “I want her to beat me so I’m going to purposely throw a red sock in with the laundry and leave some nails in the driveway for her to drive over.” No. A well trained sub will approach his Domme and let her know, “I have been craving a beating, some pain.” If their relationship is open enough and honest as it should be, he shouldn’t need to taunt her with bad behavior. He should however always have the thought in his mind that he doesn’t EVER AGAIN want to behave so badly that she is forced to lay down the type of punishment she did the last time.

A punishment, when done right should go like this.

• Acknowledgement of the bad behavior



• Sub confesses to what he has done



• Time spent alone (preferably restrained) by the sub to think about the crime and contemplate the ensuing punishment



• A stern lecture before the punishment begins



• The actual punishment is delivered along with more scolding



• Sub acknowledges his place in the relationship, what behavior he did to deserve such punishment and what he can do to earn his way back into her graces.



• Sub is allowed some down time to continue to think about his behavior

Another thing that the essay states is that a Domme should never punish the sub when they are angry. She should calm down first. I don’t know if I agree with that either. I guess that depends on the person. Those with anger management issues probably would have a hard time thinking clearly and may make crucial mistakes in the punishment. However, I think most Dommes could use a little vinegar under their tongue in order to deliver the kind of punishment required to separate punishment form pleasure. I think a lot of Dommes may go a bit soft on their sub if they cool down before the blows are delivered. Take it from me, as an intelligent sub with a bit of a pension for topping from the bottom, it wouldn’t take long for me to figure out the punishment will never actually fit the crime. If you want my submission and respect, you’ve got to lay down the wood from time to time. I need to fear pissing you off. Not because I like to piss people off but because unless I fear the consequences of your anger and disappointment, I’m not likely to see it as anything more than an inconvenience to me. I have received both pleasurable pain and punishment pain. Although the punishable pain did not correct my behavior forever, I will assure you it is nothing I intend to invoke on purpose.

One last thought. Is it appropriate to mix sexual actions with the punishment? This is interesting. While I can see he deserves no sex of any kind during punishment, I think there is a possible need for her to enjoy sexual pleasure. Most Dommes have a strong sadomasochist side so delivering blows, hurting their sub is going to turn them on. By the time he is whimpering at her feet begging her to stop, she is possibly going to be soaking wet wanting some immediate pleasure. I actually believe this can be used as part of the punishment ritual. For starters, pleasuring her can be one of the ways he can earn his way back into her graces. Also, it allows her to express her affection for him despite the fact that she has just beaten the shit out of him. He should know well that she isn’t beating him because she dislikes him. He should know it is her affection for him that makes her feel obligated to mold his behavior to be what she demands. In other words, he should know, she could just reject him for his behavior. She could just choose to ignore him or leave him altogether. Instead, she has chosen to confront him and correct his behavior. He should be extremely thankful for that. To be sure he understands her feelings for him haven’t changed despite his need for punishment, making love to him is perfectly acceptable. The show of affection after punishment, in my mind is something that should almost always be considered. It not only allows her to express her affection for him despite his mistakes, it also allows him to show his affection and appreciation for her.

But what the hell do I know? I’m a sub. The Domme knows best. I trust her to.

Submissive Dieting Update

I'm back on the diet wagon. I have high hopes. Thankfully I was only off for a few days so I didn't destroy everything I had accomplished the past month. Thanks to a link sent by a commenter named Lubyanka, I may have a new group of folks to lean on for support. It is a group called Submissives Taking It Off. I haven't been approved for the free membership yet so I'm not sure how helpful the mail list or member areas will be for certain but it has got to help a bit. Just the idea that other submissives with similar lack of self discipline problems are out there to converse with should be very helpful.

Lubyanka also shared another great site. The Naughty Guide is pretty well done. I'm just starting to explore the site. There is a link on their site to this article on submissive needs vs submissive wants. I found this article very informative.

One thing the article mentions is her (the submissive) need to know, "I cannot get away or escape from him, even if I wanted to." This is very interesting. The Domme I have had an affair with has this effect on me and I love it. No matter what, no matter how much time has passed etc. she will always be able to make me drop to my knees on the spot and be her whore. I am powerless to say no even if I want to. She will always own me as long as she wants to. She knows it. I do too and I love it. I never thought of it as a NEED though. Now I realize it really is.

Now if she could just be there and want me on my knees. . I received an email from her stating it is not over unless I want it to be over. She is still totally absorbed in family problems that have her leaving me "on a shelf". I've been there for over a year. Submissive needs? I should write an article about putting your needs on the shelf for an undetermined time.

On a more cheery note, The Married Domme blog has some postings recently that make me so hot I could just explode. She is an incredible woman with the most delicious thoughts and images. She does such a wonderful job of putting those thoughts into words. She has such a great life and boy how I envy that slut that gets to show up from time to time to serve her.

Friday Flicks

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Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. I have been searching all week for new clips to post here but it has just been one of these dud weeks where nothing worthy is to be found. Of course, my criteria makes it tough. I try to find clips that feature amateurs, the participants are normal weight and shape but preferably on the larger side and the content is believable. As you can imagine, that rules out 99% of the free clips out there.

I did manage to stumble upon an old classic. It's supposed to be a cop who is secretly a sissy that meets up with his mistress to get fucked like the whore he is. I saw this one years ago and loved it. I'm not much into the sissy thing but being totally dominated by a good hard ass fucking like this is what makes a submissive melt. It's not amateur but the action is really hot and for the most part, believable. As strapon clips go, this one features very passionate action. It will definitely bring a rise for the guys and the Dommes might get a little wet too. ***Note.... My favorite part is at 2:57 where it almost seems like she's done but then she grabs him by the hips and fucks him hard and fast while she calls him a dirty little pig. Yum!!!

TITT (Things I Think Thursday)

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The diet has gone out the window. I have to find some sort of motivation to get me going again. It's been off and on over the past couple days but mostly off. I don't dare look at the scale. This really has me down. I wanted so bad to succeed at this. I can't quit though. I've got to get back on the horse. I'll update the blog later this weekend to let you all know how I'm doing. Not to keep beating a dead horse but.... sigh....... you know, I really need someone to beat my ass to get me back on track. I just lack self discipline.

BBW Dominant - An Odyssey has not been updated since June. That saddens me as it was one of my favorite blogs that I link to from this blog. Ms_Lyonese, if you still read this blog, know that we miss your blog entries. Hope you get back in the mood to blog soon.

Interesting Email – One of our lurkers sent an email to me on the subject of creampie eating.

“It’s funny to think back to the days before hubby ate his mess routinely. It’s hard to imagine sex at all now without him licking up his cum. In the beginning, the idea of it didn’t do a thing for me however now I can’t imagine having an orgasm without it. I’ve definitely grown addicted to making him perform the dirty deed. I love the slippery feeling of his cum on my clit. Even when I don’t let him cum I always bring him close enough to the edge to get a little precum for lube.

My favorite is to sit on his face and let it drip down after he’s shot a huge load in me. That way I can spread it on him a bit and direct it to my clit and really grind on him once my clit is lubed well. A little on the nose goes a long way. I love seeing his face covered in cum when I am through with him. Sometimes I make him pull out and shoot all over my clit before putting his well trained mouth to work. Other times I tease him to the edge and catch the ruined orgasm leakage with a glass so I can drip it onto my clit and his face in small increments. Either way, his face gets covered and he loves it.”

Did I mention how long it’s been since I had real physical contact of this sort? My cock is throbbing after reading this email.

Another lurker sent me email expressing that he is cuckold. He “loves eating another mans cum but gave up on eating his own after several attempts resulted in him almost puking.”

I guess it’s not for everybody. Strange though, I think for me, it would be the other way around. Another mans cum would send me running.

In response to a comment on my need for punishment, “dig into your memory for past ass stingings. Remember how difficult it was to sit down afterward.”

Well, I do have some incredibly powerful memories of past ass stingings. Indeed I will never forget them. However, the idea that a distant memory of a punishment would continue to alter my behavior years later is maybe not quite on track. If that worked then punishments would never need to be repeated. It would be one and done forever. No, I really do need physical punishments to keep me disciplined. Without them, I am on my own with no consequences. I have enough self discipline to keep myself out of trouble but not enough to lose weight or other self improvements. It is what it is. Thanks for the suggestion though. I know what you're getting at. Unfortunetly though, it doesn't work for me.

Ho Hum

I usually post TITT (Things I Think Thursday) and Friday Flicks however this week, I have not been thinking much about femdom related subjects and there seems to be a real drought on good video clips posted to the usual free clip sites. I did find this one clip of a woman body builder face riding. Problem is, it’s almost disturbing how muscular she is (Yet I can't look away). I find myself studying her body looking for signs to confirm she is really female and not a transvestite. I have stated here before that strong women turn me on however this may actually be a little too strong only because I don’t think I’d be able to have sex with her without wondering if it meant I was gay. I’m not homophobic however I think if I had sex with this woman, I’d be wondering if I was really having sex with a man. Just too much to think about I guess.


The diet has had it’s high points and low points this week. After a weekend off the diet, I got right back on and added some exercise on Monday. That went well and during the week I lost two of the three pounds I had gained from the weekend off. Last night though, I fell off hard and ate some really fattening food. This is the time I totally wish I had a woman in my life that would punish me good and hard. I think if I woke up this morning and my ass was still tingling from the results of falling off the diet wagon, I would have no problem resisting the urge the next time.

I think I am getting depressed about the lack of domination in my life right now. The rainy cold weather is probably a big factor in that. I have to fight through it though because being down makes me totally crave fattening comfort foods. It must seem bizarre (to those that don't understand) to hear me saying a good round of pain and submission would really cheer me up and motivate me to work harder on the diet.

At some point during the week, I read an interesting article written by a Lady Lubyanka about making yourself attractive to dominant women. By attractive, she didn't mean just physically. Although physical appearance is important, the services a sub brings to the table and his skills are just as important if not more. A female wants her sub to offer value in terms of what he can do for her. Just being willing to take some pain or do anything she wants for sexual pleasure isn't enough and may not really come into play when she considers a new partner. So skills and services such as massage, manicure, cooking etc. are more likely to be key factors that could tip the scale in a mans favor. When I can get the time to wrap my brain around this I will rate my skills and see what areas I need to improve in. Maybe I will solicit comments from some of the Dommes that read this blog to see what skills they find most useful. All in good time.